People’s anxiety about answering 'what do you like?' in sex and lack of sexual communication
Consensus Summary
Both articles explore how people struggle to answer the question 'what do you like?' during sexual encounters due to societal stigma, poor sex education, and communication barriers. A February 2026 survey revealed 77% of young people reported schools do not cover sexual pleasure, while the Australian government allocated $5.5 million in March 2026 for the AHRC’s 'On Your Terms' youth survey on consent. Experts like Tanya Koens and Alexandra Trkulja emphasize that shame and lack of practice hinder open discussions, but suggest starting with non-sexual communication and using specific, descriptive language to ease discomfort. Feeld’s 2026 report highlighted a disconnect between private kink engagement (42%) and public discussions about safe sex (only 25% find it normal), reinforcing the need for better communication frameworks.
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Key details reported by multiple sources:
- A February 2026 survey of 1049 young people found 77% reported sexual pleasure is not covered at school.
- The Australian government invested $5.5 million in March 2026 for the Australian Human Rights Commission (AHRC) to conduct the 'On Your Terms' youth survey on consent and respectful relationships education for ages 14–18.
- Dating app Feeld’s March 2026 'State of Reflections, Vol. 1' report found 42% of 6000 respondents engaged in kink, while only 25% considered talking about safe sex 'normal'.
- Sex and relationship therapist Tanya Koens stated: 'Because we don’t encourage people to talk about sex, it’s already set up with shame and stigma, so a lot of people find it really difficult.'
- Sex and relationship therapist Alexandra Trkulja advised practising communication outside the bedroom, e.g., asking for preferences in non-sexual contexts like food or massages.
Source Articles
People dread being asked this question before sex. Here’s how to answer it
The early stages of courtship are often marked by an eagerness to learn everything about your partner. But many people freeze when asked this particular question.
People dread being asked this question before sex. Here’s how to answer it
The early stages of courtship are often marked by an eagerness to learn everything about your partner. But many people freeze when asked this particular question.